


The Sleepy Bois Inc. are dirty crime bois.

by chaoticrams, StrangeScribbles



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF, sleepyboisinc.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29516502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticrams/pseuds/chaoticrams, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeScribbles/pseuds/StrangeScribbles
Summary: The title says it all. There will be descriptions of TW-past abuse, the mistreatment of orphans, blood and murder, explosions, and general swearing. You should maybe read my two one-shots based on this AU in my other book, DreamSMP Oneshots if you want more context.
Kudos: 18





	1. Crime Bois doin' monthly poster check up

Four people stood in front of a wall, one smirking victoriously whilst the other three frowned. The illustrations on the posters depicted the features of those looking at them; a man with a green and white bucket hat, a man with long pink hair and a crown, a man with curly brown hair and a beanie, and a child with a red and white t-shirt. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur and Tommy. They were a family of dangerous criminals, best known for their destructive style and cunning plots, called the Sleepy Bois Inc. Whilst their name seemed unthreatening and peaceful, they were quite the opposite. Run into them and you would be lucky if there was a finger left, let alone a body.

"Hey! Why does Techno have a higher bounty than us?!" Tommy whined. He hated that Techno was always the one with the higher bounty than him, even though he had upped his game this month, committing several home robberies and a lot of arson.

"Well, you know, maybe if you murdered more useless children within the confines of their stone prisons, you would be more recognized," Techno said in his usual nonchalant and monotone voice, "Besides, be proud that Wilbur isn't higher than you, although I suppose this month he has been a bit off his game-"

"Well excuse you mister child murderer, there just isn't enough easy ways to commit my usual this month, okay?" Wilbur chimed, trying to ignore the fact that the child of the group did in fact have a higher bounty than him, "And even then, I'm not the lowest, just look at Phil's bounty!"

"Mate, you realize I don't mind that much. As much as you guys make fun of me for it-"

"Yeah, yeah we get it, Phil, you are sooo old that you could never keep with us, sure, use that as an excuse of why our bounties have been better for the past 5 months." Tommy jeered, cutting off Phil as he tries to justify himself for not being as active as the others.

"Okay, okay settle down Tommy. You can't use everything I say against me mate. It doesn't matter that much anyway, you all aren't even getting the money. This is what people will throw us in jail for." Philza quieted Tommy down, pulling him in for a head-grabbing side hug.

As much as they joked about it, they knew the higher the number got, the more they would be under fire and more monitored the areas they committed crimes in would be. They knew they would have to move someday. But today is definitely not that day, as all the boys were getting quite tired and you know what, the numbers weren't that big for them to be super worried.

"You know, you can't just keep increasing the numbers like this. Too much and there will be no way for us to get away with even any minor crimes, and that just ruins the fun for everyone doesn't it." Philza lectured, continuing on from his last statement, leading the boys all over to their base, making sure to look around every once in a while to look for cameras or people. "Come on, get in will you."

The Sleepy Bois Inc. hideout was pretty cool. Completely and by some miracle unfound and impenetrable, the Sleepy Bois did everything in here, that wasn't committing crimes obviously. Techno had his room decorated like some sort of warlord mixed with an edgy teenager, Wilbur had his room decorated like an e-boy who writes sad music, Tommy had his room decorated like a typical child's room (not his fault he started being in SBI so early in his life), and Philza's looked like a weeb's dream.

"Alright you all, I think we all were up for a long time today, so everyone is going to bed earlier tonight. As in right after you are done with all the hygiene things you need to do." Philza commanded in his fatherly voice. The others split off into their rooms, practically racing each other. Philza went and did things at his own leisurely pace, waiting for his youngest to enter his room. And as if right on cue, just after Philza manages to change, Tommy knocks on the door, anxiously waiting for his father's embrace to greet him at the door.

Recently, poor Tommy was starting to struggle with thoughts about his previous household. Even though he left quite a while ago now, he has started to really contemplate it more. And after Philza catching him crying before he went to bed one night, he told Tommy to just knock on his door when he needs fatherly cuddles. Tonight was no different night, as Tommy cuddled right into Phil, allowing Phil's safe vibes to guide him to sleep, Phil and all the others following him quite soon after.


	2. They're family, your honour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title says it all. There will be descriptions of TW-past abuse, the mistreatment of orphans, blood and murder, explosions, and general swearing. You should maybe read my two one-shots based on this AU in my other book, DreamSMP Oneshots if you want more context.

Drowsily, Tommy opened his eyes to sunlight streaming through the window of Phil's room. Okay, it wasn't actually sunlight, because windows were banned from the base (this was for a number of reasons, some being that they were frequently broken by techno and will, and that they completely ruined the point of the base being impenetrable). Instead the light came from extremely expensive lamps, that they bought with someone's credit card, designed to radiate what could be mistaken for sunlight. It was cool. Actually it was warm, because they doubled up as heaters, but that's beside the point.

Back to the story...

Tommy woke up. He couldn't move. Lifting his head up a bit, he grumbled. Lying over the bed, on top of everyone, was a 6'5" beanpole. An extremely heavy 6'5" beanpole. Also known as Wilbur. Rolling his eyes exasperatedly, tommy flopped back down onto the bed.

As he stared at the ceiling, he heard a distant humming. The pitch was relatively low, as judging from the people still sleeping, Techno was the source of the noise. He smirked to himself, this was perfect blackmail, proof technoblade; bloodthirsty and merciless criminal, had a soft side. (shit, don't tell anyone or he'll murder you).

"What you smilin' at for, mate?"

Tommy instinctually turned his head so fast he almost got whiplash, groaning with regret. He propped himself up on his elbow, and turned to face his father figure in the group, Philza Minecraft, feared war criminal. Phil smiled softly, almost innocently and mumbled a "g'morning". Tommy greeted him back then gestured towards Wilbur, who had _conveniently_ not woken up. Yet.

Both grinning deviously, they wriggled out from under the light blankets, careful not to disturb their sleeping friend. Phil slowly pulled the blanket off the bed, freezing when Wilbur mumbled disapprovingly in his sleep. One finger pressed to his lips, Tommy quietly approached his brother’s unmoving form.

“Tickle, tickle,” he drawled under his breath as he rolled up his sleeves.

Technoblade, trying his utmost to peacefully make a pot of coffee, cursed and rubbed his temple as screaming erupted from Phil's room. Another Sunday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is kinda short, but I kinda burnt out... Hopefully next chapter is better! My friend kylarey helped with this a bit, so go check out her work (she's really good at writing)


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